Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
