I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
