I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
