It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
