your parents love me but you hate me
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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