wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
