To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
