I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize