I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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