I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
