He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Your penis caused this!
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
