this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
