I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Randomize
