I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
