The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
