I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
