I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
My pussy is not your playground.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
How does it feel to date your dad?
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