I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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