u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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