So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
