Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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