he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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