Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
