By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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