Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
He kissed a someone with a penis
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize