hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
