careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
