No awkward lesbian experiences without me
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
