I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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