That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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