idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
