I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
