I think my vagina is haunted
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
