Grow some girl-balls and come out already
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The air was thick with penises
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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