You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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