It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
