have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
