Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
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