well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
