hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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