I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize