HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Barsexuality is the new black.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
