Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
