this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
