So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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