Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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