If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Pants are for mortals
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
