she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
