Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
