If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
