I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
