Apparently you make a good broom.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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