He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
