Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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