sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
