wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
