"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
