I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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