For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
