At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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