Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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