8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
