just come out here and I will go home with you...
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
