there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
