You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
