i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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