Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
