No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Randomize