Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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